Veepstakes

Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah Joe Biden—zuh?!
The two senators widely believed to be at the top of Barack Obama's shortlist for VP have been given prime-time speaking slots at the Democratic convention Wednesday night — the very same night the vice presidential candidate is slated to speak.

According to the Democratic National Convention Committee, both Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh and Delaware Sen. Joe Biden will deliver speeches on national security during the marquee night.
Okay, this has got to be a joke, right? The DNC is just fucking with the press, who's dumb enough to fall for the suggestion that Joe Fookin' Biden is "believed to be at the top of" Obama's veep shortlist. Because there's no way in blue hell that Obama could be foolish enough to be seriously considering for one blinking second putting on his ticket the speech plagiarizing, bankruptcy bill voting, Bush-coddling, racist, sexist asshat Biden, a consummate gaffe machine who launched his own '08 presidential bid with a screeching dog whistle that declared Obama "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Then again, Obama has also reportedly considered Jim Webb and Tim Kaine, who distinguish themselves from Biden only by a comparative lack of bravado about their deplorable bigotry.

My senator Bayh is an improvement, but he's got his own problems. Namely, prevarication on reproductive rights and LGBTQI issues. Actually, those aren't "his own" problems at all. They appear to be the same problems that everyone on Obama's shortlist seems to have. Huh.

Well, at least he doesn't regularly make a spectacular ass of himself. Which is more than one can say for Biden.

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