The Dog Ate My Intelligence Report

The new NIE report on Iran has placed President McFumblenutz, and his esteemed crew, into quite a pinch. Stephen Hadley made matters worse the other day by stating rather clearly that the NIE findings were given to Bush "a few months ago." For anyone keeping track, this means Bush was already informed about the cease in Iran's nuclear weapons program while he was claiming that World War III is right around the corner.

So now, President Sammy Stammerson tries his darndest to convince everyone in this morning's presser that he has an excuse for everything.

BUSH: I was made aware of the NIE last week. In August, I think it was John — Mike McConnell came in and said, We have some new information. He didn’t tell me what the information was. He did tell me it was going to take a while to analyze.

Sorry, but I'm not buying what he's selling. McConnell comes to him with a movie trailer teaser about the intelligence and leaves it at that? Sure sounds like a nice crock to me; too bad Thanksgiving is over. But wait, there's more:

REPORTER: Are you saying at no point while the rhetoric was escalating, as World War III was making it into conversation — at no point, nobody from your intelligence team or your administration was saying, Maybe you want to back it down a little bit?

BUSH: No — I’ve never — nobody ever told me that.

Survey says? ZERO.

MR. HADLEY: Two things. One, when the President was told that we had some additional information, he was basically told: stand down; needs to be evaluated; we'll come to you and tell you what we think it means. So this was basically -- as we said, this is information that came in the last few months, and the intelligence community spent a lot time to get on top of it.

It seems that people have some kind of problem calling Bush on this extreme level of bullshit due to HUTA Syndrome (head up the ass). Well, allow me to be the one to try and help everyone out with this golden rule: When two people present conflicting recollections of the same event, one of them is lying.

And special thanks to Liss for working on the awesome graphic. He may have eaten the intelligence report, but he's still such a good boy!!