Primarily Annoying

Breaking News from the Republican Primary: Mitt Romney is going to be the nominee. You heard it here first. Or somewhere else.

fake campaign poster for Mitt Romney which has had its content blacked out and covered by text reading 'censored by SOPA,' 'censored by PIPA,' 'censored,' and 'no content for you!'

Speaking of Willard, here is an interesting piece by Rick Perlstein. (Who, by the way, in addition to being an excellent writer, is a really nice guy, no sarcasmo. You should read everything he writes, for realz.) What I find particularly compelling about this examination of Romney's political career as rebellion against his father is how familiar a story it really is: The Bushes, the Bayhs, both sides of the aisle. That our political system is deeply reactionary and patriarchal is not a new observation, but it is quite literally so, too.

Hey! Want to read John McCain's opposition research on Mitt Romney? Sure you do! And here it is! All 200 pages of it! I'm sure there's nothing in there that would make it seem sorta embarrassing that John McCain just endorsed him ha ha! Nosir!

Newt Gingrich continues stomping all over the eastern United States on his anti-Romney crusade. His latest hilarious proposal is to urge Rick Santorum and Rick Perry to drop out and endorse him. Ha ha awesome. I'm sure they'll get right on that!

"There is no way I'm dropping out of this race and endorsing Newt Gingrich. Despite his being a profoundly indecent human being whom no one should ever trust with the stewardship of a used Oldsmobile, no less the stewardship of a nation, he still hasn't attained the breathtaking levels of abject hatred for marginalized people that only I bring to the table. I mean, there are times I feel like his bigotry isn't even authentic and he's just going through the motions. Yeah, there's no way I could endorse someone when I can't even be sure he REALLY hates feminists, queers, blacks, atheists, and other assorted uppity rabble-rousers. Immigrants! I forgot to say immigrants!"—Rick Santorum.

"I am definitely still in the race! I have not dropped out yet!"—Rick Perry.

Something something Ron Paul.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

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