News I Don't Want to Write About

Here are all the news items I don't want to write about today!

[Please Note: This is sarcasm. I am actually writing about them! Mostly, I just don't have very much to say about them. Saying I don't want to write about them is just a literary conceit, which I find amusing! You are not obliged to feel the same.]

There is the news about Google's new privacy policy, which will probably be very scary and/or rage-making for some people and probably not scary and/or rage-making for others, owing to various individual thingies like privilege, personal history, and levels of cynicism regarding privacy in the technological age. I don't like it! For at least four different reasons! But I also feel very resigned about it. Google's probably counting on lots of people feeling that way, which makes me feel guilty. I'm sorry, the part of my brain that is very disappointed in me! I only have so many spoons!

There is the report, right from the Tim Geithner's mouth, that Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner prooooooobably won't be asked back by President Obama, if he is reelected. Tim Geithner says he'll do "something else." That's good. I don't really like Tim Geithner, but I would be sad if Tim Geithner just laid down on the ground and never did anything ever again just because he can't be Treasury Secretary forever.

There is the news that this jerk mayor in Connecticut has apologized "for saying that he would help Latinos in his town by eating tacos" in response "to the arrests of four East Haven police officers by FBI agents Tuesday for their alleged roles in abusing Latino residents and business owners, performing illegal searches, making false arrests and harassing immigrant rights advocates." He's very sorry. "Unfortunately, I let the stress of the situation get the best of me and inflamed what is already a serious and unfortunate situation." True Fact: Stress makes you racist, just like alcohol. No word on what Mayor Jerk T. Jerksworthy actually will do to help Latin@s in East Haven. (Resign, maybe?)

There is the terrible news that the Marine squad leader charged with alleged war crimes in connection with the Haditha massacre in Iraq has been sentenced by a US military judge to "a maximum of 90 days in prison and a reduction in pay and rank. But because of a plea deal with prosecutors, Staff Sgt. Frank G. Wuterich won't serve any time in the brig. The military judge was obligated to abide by the plea arrangement between prosecutors and the defense. In the end, Wuterich's sentence amounts to a reduction in rank—to private—and a pay cut." To paraphrase the othering parlance of my friends on the other side of the aisle, maybe "they" hate us for his freedom.

There is the settlement of $22 million for suffering inhumane treatment awarded to Stephen Slevin, who spent two years in solitary confinement in a New Mexico prison, without trial and denied necessary medical care, after being arrested in August of 2005 for driving while intoxicated. I can't decide whether it's our garbage priorities or our garbage prison system that's more screwed up. Let's call it a tie. Meanwhile, this story was filed under "Odd News."

And finally! There is the spectacular news that The Hangover 3 is close to being a sealed deal, with the impending trilogy's stars getting the big pay increases they definitely deserve. Handshake handshake backslap. Good negotiating all around, I'm sure. Couldn't happen to a nicer franchise. Barf bags for everyone!

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.