"I am runing away becas you think I farted when I dident. PS You are mean."
That is obviously the greatest. It is also totes one of those times that a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, whomever has to totally stifle one's laughter because even though something is self-evidently hilarious to an adult, it is THE MOST HORRIBLE THING EVARRRR!!!!eleventy!!1! to a child.
Like when I came home absolutely beside myself because another kid from the neighborhood had called me a "bow-head." MamaShakes, who did a pretty amazing job of controlling the gales of laughter that were fighting to come pouring out of her, asked me what a "bow-head" even is, to which I responded with the irate indignation of an aggrieved 8-year-old, "I DON'T KNOW BUT IF RENEE SAID IT IT IS HAS TO BE BAD!"
Which also puts me in mind of this great bit by Brian Regan:
At the park, we saw another family; they had like a 5-year-old boy, holding a helium balloon. And he accidentally let go of his balloon. The boy started crying, and his parents are like, "Why are you crying? It's a balloon. We'll get you another one."
I'm like: Jeepers creepers, folks. Sometimes I don't think adults try hard enough, you know, to understand what kids are going through. You know, if you want to relate to what he's going through, imagine if you took your wallet out and it just started floating away... [mimes desperately reaching for wallet as it floats away] "AHHHHHHHHHH!"
[mocking parents who dismissed their son] "Why are you acting like that? It's a wallet. We'll get you another one."
[mimes panicking and pointing up to wallet in sky] "BUT I WANT THAT ONE!"
That's what your boy's going through!
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