This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Trigger warning for tacit fat hatred and body policing.]

Pepsi to release new 'skinny can':

Can a soda can be sassy? Pepsi thinks so.

Diet Pepsi will soon be available in a "taller, sassier new Skinny Can" that the company says is a "celebration of beautiful, confident women."

The new can -- which stands just more than six inches in height -- will make its debut at New York's Fall 2011 fashion week later this month, but it won't hit stores until March.

"Our slim, attractive new can is the perfect complement to today's most stylish looks," said Jill Beraud, chief marketing officer at Pepsi (PEP, Fortune 500). "We're excited to throw its coming-out party, during the biggest celebration of innovative design in the world."

...For consumers who prefer their soda cans to be the traditional short and fat product -- no need to worry. A Pepsi spokeswoman confirmed the old model will remain on shelves.

Just LOL.

I love the way this works: Now that there's a taller and thinner can, the traditional can becomes the "short and fat" model. FAT MATH!

[H/T to Shaker Jackie.]