Assvertising

Shaker Gretchen emailed me about this new Snickers ad, in which white dudebros just aren't themselves when they're hungry. They're divas!

[Transcript below.]

One of the things I like most about this ad, ahem, is its implication that only divas complain about being too hot or having someone kick the back of their seats. The premise is reliant on, and simultaneously perpetuates, the gendered narratives about suffering and communication. Men are stoic, and suffer in silence. Women, on the other hand, are whiny complainers.

Men endure.

Bitches bitch.

The gutting irony of admonishing a man to "stick this candy bar in your mouth and stop acting like such a woman" is that the persistent message that being a man means eating shitty food puts men who strictly adhere to this "Junkfood manly! Vegetables girly!" narrative in greater risk of needing medical care later in life, while the persistent message that men suffer in silence makes those same men less likely to seek that care.

That's some real man-hating garbage, right there. And it sure ain't the responsibility of feminists, despite the fact that we're the ones with the reputation as man-haters.
[Four people are in a car on a road trip: One young black man (driving), one young dark-haired white man (passenger seat), one young ginger-haired white man (driver's side backseat), and Aretha Franklin.]

Franklin: Can we turn the AC up? [fans self] I'm dying back here.

Dark-Haired White Man: It's on. Can't you feel it?

Franklin: [slaps Dark-Haired White Man upside the head] Can you feel that?

Black Man: Oh-ooh!

Ginger-Haired White Man: [offers Franklin a Snickers bar] Jeff, eat a Snickers, please.

Franklin: [grabs Snickers] Why?

Ginger-Haired White Man: Every time you get hungry, you turn into a diva. Just eat it so we can all coexist—

Franklin: [unwraps Sinckers bar] Ooh, I turn into a diva!

Black Man: Mm-hmm!

Dark-Haired White Man: Put it in your system, crankypants.

Franklin: [starts to eat Snickers] Okay.

Black Man: Thank you.

[Franklin turns into a young fair-haired white man.]

Ginger-Haired White Man: Better?

Fair-Haired White Man: Better.

[Dark-Haired White Man turns into Liza Minelli.]

Minelli: Will you get your knees outta the back of my seat?

Fair-Haired White Man: Whoa-oo!

Voiceover (and text onscreen): You're not you when you're hungry. Snickers satisfies.
[Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.]

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