If You Use Contraceptives, You Will Not Be Raptured

This is, on one hand, comical in its total absurdity (hmm, you know, I'm actually quite fine with the idea that using contraception will prevent me from being raptured, as they'll also prevent me from being pregnant)—and, on the other, terrifying in its reckless recommendations against safe sex and appalling in its casual indifference toward people with AIDS who are shruggingly dismissed as merely "paying the consequences" for aggrieving God. Hatred is somehow preferable to this bloodless apathy.

People who hate at least have emotions that be appealed to, in the hopes of changing their minds.

[I've done a transcript, which is below. Video via Jill.]
Title Card: REVELATION UNRAVELED.

[An older white man stands outside in a snow-covered landscape, wearing a parka.]

William Tapley: Welcome to Revelation Unraveled. I'm your host, William Tapley [onscreen text: William Tapley, Third Eagle of the Apocalypse], also known as the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, and the co-prophet of the End Times. In this program, I want to talk about contraception—and how using that will prevent you from being raptured.

Last week, the Pope made news headlines by saying that you cannot prevent AIDS through the use of condoms—and of course, he was correct. The only true way of preventing AIDS, or any other sexually transmitted diseases, is through a monogamous relationship between a husband and a wife.

Now I'm sure you Bible-believing Christians already know this: In Genesis, chapter 38, God shows his displeasure with contraception when he kills Onan. Onan uses the Planned Parenthood technique called withdrawal; that is, he spilled his seed upon the ground; and God was so displeased with this that he killed Onan.

Now I know a lot of people think, "Well, the Pope should not make the rules." They like to say: "If you don't play the game, you don't get to make the rules." But, of course, this is another lie from Satan. Can you tell me any game in which the player makes the rules? Did Mickey Mantle make the rules for baseball? Did Michael Jordan make the rules for basketball? Of course not. The person who makes the rules for any game is the inventor of the game.

And so I ask you: Who invented the game of sex? God invented the game of sex, and therefore, he gets to make the rules. And if you don't live by those rules, you will pay the consequences. In this life, you will get sexually transmitted diseases. And in the next life, you will suffer for all eternity. But in these end times, the most important thing for you to understand is that you will not be raptured if you are using condoms or any other kind of contraceptives.

Remember, when Jesus is talking about the rapture, in the Olivet Discourse, the parable he uses is about five wise and five foolish virgins. When St. John talks about the raptured protestants, one of the twelve characteristics are that they are virgins. Now this does not necessarily mean celibacy, but it certainly means chastity—and you cannot be chaste if you are using contraceptives.

Please do not expect to be raptured if you are into fornication, if you are into adultery, and if you are into contraceptives.

I know you won't get this message from Jack Van Impe, Hal Lindsey, John Hagee, or any of the other false prophets. That's because they want to give you a popular message. But you need to understand, for more than 400 years, even the protestant denominations preached against contraceptives.

Please don't be fooled by Satan. If you want to be raptured, if you want to be protected, you must live a virtuous life, as far as sexuality goes. Very, very few are going to be saved from the reign of tribulation.

St. John says only 144,000 will be raptured. That means that 99.99% of all Christians must face the great trial. And, in fact, God sends the great tribulation in order to test us, in order to bring us through the fire, so that we will be worthy to reign, with him, during the millennium.

And if you would like more information, simply write to the address [onscreen text: Third Eagle Books, 3038 Wall Street, Forestport, NY 13338] you see on your screen.

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