Assvertising

My turn for one of these (alerted by Shaker napalmnacey), this one comes from the Land Down Under, and is (I shit thee not) meant to sell domain names (warning, definitely Not Safe For Work, sound only adds to the wrongness but isn't needed to appreciate the problem):
(scene is a meeting room full of executives, with Pamela Anderson at the head of the table in her Sexy Executive costume from Hallowe'en. An assistant is pouring coffee for her, wearing her Sexy Secretary costume from Hallowe'en.)

PA: Gentlemen - if we want this business to stay on top, we have to stay at the forefront of the Internet. David?

Ass't: Cream?

(music plays, Barry-White-esque r&b, while PA and the assistant cavort under splashing buckets of cream in gold bikinis, in a very daring, edgy and subtle allusion to male sexual fluids which has never ever been done before ever; schlubby executive is fantasizing about his workmates and probably boss during a meeting, good to know you're working hard then, schlub - naturally, both women are looking directly at him, so he can be sure the performance is for him alone)

PA (in fantasy): Adam...

PA (in boardroom): Adam?

PA: Adam!?! What are we going to do about the web address?

Adam: Ummm...crazy domains dot com dot a-u? We could instantly register our domain name online.

PA: Very good, Adam.

Ass't (over Adam's shoulder, serving coffee, displaying absurd amounts of cleavage in Hallowe'en costume): Cream, Adam?

Adam (into her cleavage): Yessssss.

(fantasy music plays as Adam vainly tries to pretend he wasn't doing what he actually was)

Singer (dropping into speech over continuing music): Register your domains at crazy domains dot com dot a-u.
And may I just say, douchenozzle company from Australia, that if your video is so revoltingly hyper-sexualized (to sell you, mind, domain names - which of course no woman or gay man or asexual person could ever possibly want, because the Internet is for hetero men, woohoo!) that it can't be safely viewed in most workplaces, then you just might be a misogynist douchebag (or collection of misogynist douchebags, to be fair) for making it.

Welcoming any input from AU-based Shakers on addresses to which appropriate teaspooning missives can be directed. If I get some good linkage, it'll be put in the post here.

ETA: And, as ever, Shaker lauredhel comes through with the goods (as she does at her own site, FWD):
The Australian Advertising Standards Bureau has a complaints form, and valid complaints include violations of the Code of Ethics which includes a section on discrimination on the basis of sex. Note that you must tick the box at the bottom to stop the Bureau from disclosing your name and address to the advertiser concerned.
Thanks, lauredhel!

Teaspoons up, Shakers.

ô,ôP

[Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Six, Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Eight, Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Eight, Thirty-Nine, Forty, Forty-One, Forty-Two, Forty-Three, Forty-Four, Forty-Five, Forty-Six, Forty-Seven, Forty-Eight, Forty-Nine, Fifty, Fifty-One, Fifty-Two, Fifty-Three, Fifty-Four, Fifty-Five, Fifty-Six, Fifty-Seven, Fifty-Eight, Fifty-Nine, Sixty, Sixty-One, Sixty-Two, Sixty-Three, Sixty-Four, Sixty-Five, Sixty-Six, Sixty-Seven, Sixty-Eight, Sixty-Nine, Seventy, Seventy-One, Seventy-Two, Seventy-Three, Seventy-Four, Seventy-Five, Seventy-Six, Seventy-Seven, Seventy-Eight, Seventy-Nine, Eighty, Eighty-One, Eighty-Two, Eighty-Three, Eighty-Four, Eighty-Five, Eighty-Six, Eighty-Seven, Eighty-Eight, Eighty-Nine, Ninety, Ninety-One, Ninety-Two, Ninety-Three, Ninety-Four.]

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus