Random YouTubery: It's Shite Being Scottish!

For Iain, who loves this scene (but does not hate the English).


[Transcript below.]
Train pulls away from a platform in remote Scotland, revealing Spud, Tommy, Renton, and Sick Boy.

Sick Boy: Now what?

Tommy: [shrugs] We go for a walk.

Spud: What?!

Tommy: A walk.

Spud: Where?

Tommy: [points toward mountain] There.

Sick Boy: Are you serious?!

Tommy walks away. The other three guys sit down on a platform. Tommy turns and sees them sitting there.

Tommy: Well, what are you waiting for?

Spud: Tommy, this is not natural, man.

Tommy: It's the great outdoors! It's fresh air!

Sick Boy: Look, Tommy, we know you're getting a hard time off Lizzie, but there's really no need to take it out on us.

Tommy: [gestures at beautiful landscape] Doesn't it make you proud to be Scottish?!

Renton: It's shite being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low! The scum of the fucking earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization! Some people hate the English; I don't! They're just wankers! We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers! Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by! We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference! [swigs booze]

Tommy walks back and they all leave.

Voiceover, Renton: At, or around this time, Spud, Sick Boy, and I made a healthy, informed, democratic decision to get back on heroin as soon as possible. Took about twelve hours.

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus