Hey, assholes—it's Kenny Blogginz here with another one of my insightful television reviews. Today I'll be taking a look at a series that's been running on SpikeTV since September 19, 2007. It's a little show called MANswers, and every time I watch it I become physically ill. I mean, sure, this is SpikeTV, but MANswers makes the standard SpikeTV wrestling special look like an American Theatre Classic.
MANswers (yes, "man" is supposed to be in all caps), is a series which strives to answer questions which all men have secretly been asking themselves for time immemorial, like "How can you make your girlfriend less bitchy?" or "Which tastes better? A cat or a dog?" or "If you 'have to get it on with an animal', which one is 'closest to making it with a hot lady'?" or "Can you take a crap that will kill you?"
I actually watched an episode a few weeks ago which posed the question, "What nationality of chicks will have sex with you the longest?" You know, because one problem that straight men complain about all the fucking time is how their girlfriends cum before they're even aroused.
My favorite* MANswers question, however, is "How many farts would it take to fill up a blimp?" That question pretty much sums up the whole series for me. I mean, honestly, name one factor about that question that is remotely measurable. I dare you. Not to mention the fact that no one would ever want to know that.
Anyway, I thought I'd write up some fresh questions for MANswers, to help out SpikeTV in this crushing recession.
1.) How big is the world's largest bong?
2.) How can I get away with drinking and driving? Oh wait, that was already "manswered".
3.) Can I ride a mini-horse?
4.) Do dogs really like beer?
That's all I can come up with for now, loyal readers, but please feel free to submit your own questions!
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* I can't find the video for that one. Perhaps it was a sub-exploration of another topic, like "Can you freeze your farts and smell them later?" or "Can your farts save a buddy's life?"
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