Note: This post will be updated until I am either too drunk to type or so bloody exhausted I can't function.
11:00 AM: I am moving slow today because workmen are here to replace the defrost sensor on the heat pump. UGH! They are singing workmen also. I have no idea what they are singing, but it sounds countrish.
The first day begins with a fitting tribute from the kitties. I suspect Dashiell is the kitty who prefers his Santa Snowmen headless. HA!
I will update this post when I start unpacking the endless containers. ENDLESS!
2:20 PM: UGH! I have too much Christmas Crap. I spent 2 hours on the phone with a friend babbling about how feet get bigger as we age and the best simmer time for marinara. I say no more than 2 hours. She opted for an hour. Anyhoo, while on the phone, I spent 30 minutes trying to find the Rubbermaid containers that store the various feathers, flowers, and anything glittery for wreaths, etc... I found one. I think the other is in the garage SOMEWHERE. Help me Jesus Tree Topper find all the madness.
OOOOOOOO... The mail arrived and I got special presents for myself: the new edition of Pasolini's Salo released by Criterion and The Films of Alejandro Jodorowsky. (Amazon has it at a great price and includes the soundtracks for The Holy Mountain and El Topo.) Do I dare take a break and watch a movie or trudge along? I guess I will trudge. I need to work on a mantel. Mantels are always the trickiest. Secure that garland or everything will come tumbling down!
4:00 PM: I am a serious slacker today and would rather chat on the phone. I pretend to do some Christmas decoratin' and bitch about all the Christmas crap, but am moving SLOW. I called Liss to harass her. She seemed in a jolly mood despite that she is a HEATHEN and a BASTARD PERSON because she is NOT putting up a Christmas tree. Not to be a gossip, but apparently Mama Shakes' tree is good enough for Melissa. Not even a wreath. I need LIGHTS and glittery pine cones are the greatest. I did manage to clear all the bric-a-brac off one of the mantels, but I still have to decorate the wreath that will hang above. Last year, I started this madness before Thanskgiving and am SO LATE this year. Thankfully five o'clock approaches and maybe a little nip will makes things better. Either that or it will take forever. It's still fun though despite the chaos.
Stay tuned for the next update brought to you by whatever whisky is available. HA!
5:43 PM: Growing concern that my conspicuous Christmas consumption will out me as the budding capitalist and elitist decorating monster that I am forces me to down another cocktail.
6:16 PM: Interrupted by Dagny who must have his two shrimp a day. Daylight Savings Time threw him off, so now shrimp consumption occurs at six instead of seven. I freshen my cocktail because I am having mantel angst like Misty.
7:04 PM:SERIOUS mantel angst now and my camera sucks! Any tips on adjusting the ISO and compensation so lights look white and everything doesn't look washed out? A friend suggested covering half of the flash with your finger, but that sorta works. Sorta. Photographer friends, expect a call shortly as Mister Petulant needs decent photos.
The beautiful lady in the middle was a present from a friend and the two candlesticks on the end are Chinese acrobats. Their feet hold the candles and their hands are support at the base; hidden by garland. I just need to pour another drink because once I put a tree in front of it, no one will see a damn thing. I still have another mantel to do!
8:05 PM: Fix plate of Italian Sausage, Peppers and Tomatoes over spaghetti with lots of FETA and garlic toast. GROW EVEN MORE FRUSTRATED because MY SQL database is seriously fucked and I have to do constant backups and restores. ARGHHHHHH!!!! My cigarette quantity for the day is ridiculous!
8:30 PM: Get email from The Way of the Master, Ray Comfort's Ministry with Kirk Cameron, about their spectacular Christmas Sale. Try to digest meal. Contemplate drink and definitely need another cigarette if I am going to tackle those small trees in urns after that email.
8:39 PM:My site goes completely defunct and I say fuck it.
8:54 PM:Get site running again and receive email from World Net Daily about Christmas Songs Made in America. Really say fuck it for the day and go luxuriate in a hot bath.
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