War in Defense of Christmas: Day Eight

I will update this post until I pass out.

I am off to a late start today because of "real-life." UGH! I will start finally on the other mantel. Since all my Christmas decoratin' moves at a slug speed, I will enhance the experience WITH BOOZE. Screw the five o'clock guideline I faithfully observe.

I was able to do a bit of shopping earlier. I bought myself more clothes at the Dillard's outlet. ALL men's apparel was 75% off retail price and then another 50% off the sale price. I love a deal kittens.

I bought myself this fitting t-shirt amongst other things.


War in Defense of Christmas: Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, Day Six, Day Seven.

More below

I also bought this cute little polka dot skirt for a friend's little girl. Uncle Petulant loves to buy clothes for the wee ones. All of the clothes are just so adorable when miniature.


I will now pour a drink 90 minutes before the usual time and start the mantel. IF I can find floral wire for the berry wreath. I know there is floral wire somewhere in this house. I have an image of it in a drawer. But which drawer? Let me take a sip of my cocktail first. HA!

4:52 PM: UGH! I had wanted to used these Hallmark Illuminations star lights to dangle from the mantel. I bought a bunch of this series of lights several years ago and at a deep discount. I hate to pay retail. They perform this annoying fade in, fade out routine. Back in the box they go! They are really pretty, but when you have to buy a SEPARATE power supply- BULLSHIT! A three pack of these Star Lights retailed for $25. I paid $4. Now that is four wasted dollars because I ain't using them. Gee.. I wonder why Hallmark discontinued them? I accomplished a lot in the last hour. YAY BOOZE! I do face a crisis though. My mother gave me this mantel scarf that is very lacy patterned with IVY and a bit too country for my taste. I have to use it and it looks out of place. Grin and bear it. That sounds like a line from a porno. I might be finished in the next hour unless Matthews distracts me. HARDBALLZ! HA! Hardballz! That sounds like a porno too.


Yay! It is technically cocktail hour.

6:15 PM: The phone rang. I chat forever. Sometimes I think my friendships work better without physical interaction. In person, nasty battles ensue. Mental Note: Ask therapist about that during the next appointment.

I am still working on the mantel- IMAGINE THAT! I feel a bit peckish. In the grand tradition of booze consumption that means nibbly things. I made a quick dipping sauce for dumplings: soy sauce, hoisin, chili paste, garlic, a splash of sesame oil, and a wee bit of Five Spice Chinese powder. Bring to a boil and VOILA! I didn't make my own dumplings but opted for this frozen variety I buy from the local Chinese market. BEEF flavored veggie dumplings! HA! I also toss in some jalapeno poppers for good measure. Surprisingly, I have great cholesterol (170) for someone who likes a stick of butter with everything. For now...

Still trudging kittens... HA!


7:15 PM: It's a Country Christmas Y'all!

If by chance you are using the No Script add-on for Firefox like I do, temporarily allow odeo to listen.

Here is the mantel in the kitchen. There is a wood stove insert in the fireplace so when then Apocalypse occurs I can continue to heat the house. HA! For some reason my camera wants to make the ceiling sky blue, but it is white. Every pic, with various settings, made the ceiling blue. Perhaps I need more booze and it will make sense? Yes, more booze. That makes everything better. HA! Then there is that damn mantel scarf. I will say no more and "Gin and bear it," though I still have horrible memories from when I was fifteen that involved a pint of gin, a GIRL with braces, and my nether regions. You figure it out. I couldn't even watch that Björk movie, The Juniper Tree, because of the juniper, gin connection. Is that what made me gaily? NAHHHH... I was just going through the motions as a teenager. HA! Every time I pass a pine tree, I smell gin. Chestnut trees are the worst when they bloom because they smell like semen. Everywhere I have lived, there has always been a chestnut tree nearby. I babble...


I am starting to think I need to hire a professional photographer to invade my sanctuary. UGH!

From left to right: the stocking I have had since I was an infant. There aren't any pictures of me in it, at least according to my mother who said that my father might have them. LOST CAUSE! The three in the middle are for the babies, Delia, Dashiell, and Dagny. The Coca-Cola stocking is for my mother who drinks entirely too much Coke despite her doctor telling her to limit her intake. I sometimes throw up a stocking for my Baptist aunt who abhors caffeine. Anything remotely listed in Leviticus is the WORD. We used to despise one another because she was crazy religious and I was "gaily," except for that incident when I was fifteen. Now we get along great because we have the same arrogant sarcasm (her's tinged with Christian LUV) and I help her with buying computers and hook up that new fangled VCR/DVD combo for her. One year for Christmas she asked my mother what I wanted for Christmas, my mother told her the Sleeping Beauty DVD that had just come out. She handed it to me that Christmas Morn and called me a "Sissy." My mother quickly intervened by exclaiming, "I gave him the Godfather box set!" Gotta love your mother. And the mantel scarf remains.

That was quite the babbling session. Should I decorate more or just move to the PUB?

8:36 PM: I am calling it quits for tonight. I will resume some time tomorrow. Unless, this occupies too much of my time.