And So It Begins

Help us, Maude! Our preznit-elect ain't goin' to church!

President-elect Barack Obama has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of his two immediate predecessors.

On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym.

Asked about the president-elect's decision to not attend church, a transition aide noted that the Obamas valued their faith experience in Chicago but were concerned about the impact their large retinue may have on other parishioners.

"Because they have a great deal of respect for places of worship, they do not want to draw unwelcome or inappropriate attention to a church not used to the attention their attendance would draw," said the aide.

Both President-elect George W. Bush and President-elect Bill Clinton managed to attend church in the weeks after they were elected.

Oh, they managed to do it, did they? Well, you know what that means. If they could manage it, but Obama can't, it proves once and for all that he really is a secret Muslim! If he weren't, he could certainly manage getting to church.

I mean, sure. Obama's family (rather famously, ahem) left their long-time home church not long ago, so attending church would mean going somewhere new, which, considering the scrutiny given his past pastor's sermons, would certainly require intense vetting of any new pastor's sermons, for which Obama and/or his team might not have the time or energy right now as they're preparing to hit the Oval Office running in the middle of a major economic crisis and two wars. And, sure. It would cause massive amounts of upheaval for the church they chose, which wouldn't be particularly fair to the parishioners or church staff. And, sure. It's none of our fucking business, anyway.

But Clinton and Bush managed it, people! The country's going to hell in a handbasket already!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!11!!elevety-one!111!!!!!!!!!!