Why I Am Insane: Volume III, Chapter 27

Because I go through this ritual with Olivia six thousand times every day:

I jump on ur desk.



I lie on ur mousepad and push ur mouse away wif mine buttz.



I look at u plaintively: Pet moi, human!



I mark ur game mouse.



I offer mine headz for ur scratchin'.



I flop cute; show chubbly tumsel!



I scootchez forward.



I hang mine headz over edge.



I offer mine headz more.



What?


Then I grab her, snoogle her, and put her on the floor. Rinse and repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

If my hand is on the mouse, instead of the camera, she flops right on top of my hand. If my hands are on the keyboard, she'll try to flop down on top of them.

If I shut her out of the office, she cries and whines until I let her back in. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

Then, at last, naptime in the chair just beside me—and a moment's peace.



I just rechargin', crazy woman!