In Which I Am the Best Strategist the GOP Ever Had

Dateline: Doucheville, 1950:
Top Republican strategists are working on plans to protect the GOP from charges of racism or sexism in the general election, as they prepare for a presidential campaign against the first ever African-American or female Democratic nominee.
Screw those old skool "Top Republican strategists" and just follow my fool-proof plan for avoiding charges of racism and sexism:

Step One: Don't be racist.

Step Two: Don't be sexist.

That will be one million dollars, please—or 10% of whatever you've paid Karl Rove over the last 8 years, whichever is less.

Actually, strike that. I'll waive my fee. A campaign season without race- or gender-baiting would be reward enough for services rendered.

Something tells me I ought not put a downpayment on a yacht just yet...

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