CEO pay and benefits on the rise: "Top executives at major businesses last year made as much money in one day of work on the job as the average worker made over the entire year, according to a report released on Wednesday."

Omigod, I'm so happy for them! That's so awesome!

And check this out: The new federal minimum wage, $5.85/hour, "after being adjusted for inflation, stands 7% below where the minimum wage stood a decade ago," which sucks, but over the same decade, CEO pay "has increased by roughly 45%," which is superb! Rock on, American CEOs!

Everyone get your buckets ready, 'cuz that shit's gonna start trickling down any minute now…!