It Is To Laugh

Well, it wasn't quite the insane, spittle-flecked rant that I thought it would be, but Michael Savage's response to getting dumped by the CAA is worth its weight in pure Wingnuttium.

Please, if you would, break out the World's Tiniest Violin.

"Those of you who think I'm your enemy -- if you think I'm a bigger enemy to you, for example -- let's start with this. For those of you who are obsessed with certain topics, and you think that I, a frank-speaking man, I, Michael Savage, am your biggest enemy, then you're proving to me that liberalism is a mental disorder. Why do I say that? Because I do not pose any direct threat to any of you. Who does pose a direct threat to you? Our common enemy. A common enemy would hang you, cut your throat, throw you down a well, anything they could do to you.

[...]

But how they could have such hatred in their hearts for people like myself, who spend their every waking moment, and with every fiber in their being, trying to wake America up to the danger it is in, how they will take the side of the Islamic extremists over the president and over the troops, how they will take the side of the enemy in virtually every interchange can only be answered with one statement: liberalism is a mental disorder, and I don't have the cure for it."

*Sob* How could you liberals be so mean? Why do you all hate him so much? He's just working his widdle fingers to the bone to save you. He wants to protect us all from those mean evil horrible wicked Islamic extremists - they're all going to fucking get you, you know - and keep us all safe! No one else will do it; without Michal Savage, you'd all be dead, do you know that? Now he's lost his agent - of course, he's still got plenty of book deals and a nationally syndicated show - but still! That was just so mean!

Yep, I can't figure it out. Why would anyone dislike Savage, especially when, in the very same segment mind you, he not only says that liberals suffer from a "mental disorder" (love how he manages to get the book plug in there), but adds:

All you snotty liberals, who look over all of these things like it means nothing; what's wrong with you? When did you lose your soul? When did it exactly happen? Was it the pot in high school? What exactly -- was it the coke in the '80s? When do you think, as a liberal, you lost your soul? What did it to you? When was the turning point? What was that tipping point in your life as a liberal, looking back, when you lost your soul and started to hate America, and you started to hate everything that was normal and sane about this country? When did you lose your perspective on reality, is what I'd like to ask you.

So, Savage calls liberals "snotty, soulless, abnormal, America-hating drug addicts," and then can't imagine why they might dislike him.

Just... can't... figure... it out! [/shatner]

"Mike shall return." To what, exactly? The CAA? Uh, I hate to break this to you Mike, but I'm pretty sure they're not taking you back. And since you didn't exactly lose anything else, there's nothing to return to. But hey, saying it certainly makes you feel like The Terminator, doesn't it?

There's been an awful lot of right-wing whinging going on recently; with Glenn Beck complaining about Christians being scrutinized, or conservatives whining that Ann Coulter makes them look bad, or Brit Hume complaining that the Walter Reed scandal makes the White House look bad, or O'Reilly complaining that his statements about Shawn Hornbeck were taken out of context, or insert your example here, we're going through a lot of kleenex.

But to hear this from one of the most vicious, hate-spewing, non-apologetic browbeaters on the right is just all too special. Seriously, I can't imagine why anyone on the left would possibly think that you're their "enemy," Mikey-boy.

Therefore, Michael Savage, we award you the "Big Boo-Hoo Award."

Feel free to wear it with pride. Or shove it directly up your ass.

(Energy Dome tip to Melissa for making the award!)