Election Night Wrap-Up

Well, it’s 2:30am, and I don’t have a whole lot of energy left to do much of a wrap-up, but as I finally leave for my bed, the Dems have retaken the House, and the Senate rests on the results in Montana and Virginia. Tester should take Montana in a squeaker, if my math is right—the counties left to report don’t appear to have enough votes for Burns to overcome Tester’s lead. As for Virginia, it looks like it’s going to a recount, and the good news is that we’re going into it with the Democrat the presumed winner.

I’m particularly proud of my home state of Indiana tonight, which turned three red seats blue. Congratulations to Ellsworth, Hill, and especially Donnelly, for getting rid of that asshole Chocola after a very nasty campaign.

If you weren’t hanging around Shakes tonight, you missed some fretful nail-biting and some serious fun. And we learned some very important things—like how I wield the radical gay agenda from my feminazi cooter, and how my womb is so filled with socialism and sympathy for terrorists that there’s no room for babies.

Great “Actual Headline” already: Bush disappointed at Republicans' losses. Aww. Can somebody call the waaaaaaambulance for him? And here’s something to look forward to: Tomorrow, Bush will hold a press conference “to urge his opponents to work with him.” White House counselor Dan Bartlett promises that the president will “extend a hand for bipartisan cooperation to work on the issues facing our country,” while White House spinmeister Tony Snow grouses, “Democrats have spent a lot of time complaining about what the president has done. This is an opportunity for them to kind of stand up.” Indeed. I hope they stand up and kick him right in the nuts.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say about the GOP and into what orifices they can shove various bits of schadenfreugasmic goodness tomorrow, when my brain isn’t feeling quite so melty.

As for the victorious Dems, I’ve got only five little words: Congratulations. Don’t let us down.