A-Courtin’ the Conservatives He Shall Go…

”I’m wooing. Are you wooed yet? Because I’m wooing, baby.”

In his quest for the Republican presidential nomination, Arizona Sen. John McCain courted Thursday the group that vets conservative judicial nominees, the Federalist Society.

The powerful lawyers’ group, which is holding its annual convention in Washington this weekend, has spawned such conservative nominees of President Bush as appeals court Judge William Pryor and Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito.

…In his speech to a packed ballroom at a Washington hotel, McCain assured the group that despite last week’s sobering election returns for Republicans, “the election was not an affirmation of the other party’s program. Try as hard as I could, I couldn’t find much evidence that my Democratic friends were offering anything that resembled a coherent platform.”

Touché, le Maverique! Even his insults directed at the Democrats are stunningly individualist. The Democrats are incoherent—how does he come up with such astounding zingers?! This guy’s a genius.

He spoke of the importance of judges who would strictly interpret the Constitution.

“They should be people who respect the limited scope afforded federal judges under the Constitution,” he said.

“Activist judges are totally wack, yo,” he added. “Can I get a whoop-whoop?”

This source called McCain’s decision to speak to the Federalists “an attempt to improve his credibility” with conservatives and “a chance to demonstrate his commitment to and knowledge of the judges issue.”

The source, a white-haired man reeking of desperation and complaining of jaw ache from what he described as “honoring the president,” also noted that McCain would soon introduce a campaign slogan designed specifically for the social conservatives he hopes to successfully woo in coming months.