America 2.0: The Final Frontier

If you thought this sounded like a story from The Onion, check this shit out.

Bush seeks to block enemies from space:

President Bush has signed an order asserting the United States' right to deny adversaries access to space for hostile purposes.

Bush also said the United States would oppose the development of treaties or other restrictions that seek to prohibit or limit U.S. access to or use of space.

…"Freedom of action in space is as important to the United States as air power and sea power," the policy says. "In order to increase knowledge, discovery, economic prosperity, and to enhance the national security, the United States must have robust, effective, and efficient space capabilities."

Yeah, and not only that, but we’re gonna spread freedom to the whole universe bitchez!

“Ground Control to Major Tom. We have turned a corner on Zingklop Alpha. The Zingklopian insurgency is in its final throes. Over.”

I honestly cannot stop giggling. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that the Superbloggers took out Planet Limpwrist while we still had access to SPACE.

(Please blame Rick Santorum for my total inability to take anything seriously for the rest of the day.)