Myyyy... Kinda Town... Oooh, Foie Gras!


Speaking of Nanny Legislation...

As regular readers know, I absolutely love my town. But even Chicago can be blindsided by an attack of stupid.
CHICAGO - If you're a cell phone-using, goose liver-eating, cigarette-smoking, fast food-loving person, Chicago might not be your kind of town.

In this city that once winked at Prohibition, members of the City Council are trying to crack down on things they deem unhealthy, immoral or just plain annoying.

A proposal that would restrict fast-food chains from cooking with artery-clogging trans fat oils got a public airing last week, and in the past year alone aldermen have banned smoking in nearly all public places and the use of cell phones while driving.

In April, Chicago became the first U.S. city to outlaw the sale of foie gras, a goose liver delicacy that is decried by animal-rights activists because it is created by force-feeding birds to fatten up their livers.

Don't worry, overeaters! We'll save you from hypertension! Up, up, and Legislate!! Kapwwwwwwwiiiiiiiinnng!!

Look, I don't know if I'd ever want to eat Foie Gras... but I think it's ridiculous that we have a city ordinance that says I can't. And if I want to eat a big, sloppy, greasy portion of french fries, is it really the city's job to get involved? I mean, come on, I appreciate the concern, but I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

Here's a quote I love:
Critics, including the mayor, wonder if the City Council has suddenly deemed itself the behavior police.

"We have children getting killed by gang leaders and dope dealers," an angry Mayor Richard M. Daley said earlier this year. "We have real issues here in this city. And we're dealing with foie gras? Let's get some priorities."

And here's a quote that makes me want to punch someone. Probably Perry Duis.
"This is the legislation of refinement," said Perry Duis, a University of Illinois-Chicago historian who has written extensively on Chicago. "This is a city of Starbucks rather than the steel mill."
Oh, fuck you. I'm sure the people living in this city that can't afford a mocha latte would have something to say about your "refinement." Maybe I should step outside my office and ask the dozens of homeless people that live in this area how they feel about your micromanagement, hmmm?
When the trans fat idea first came up, the Chicago Sun-Times weighed in with an editorial facetiously referring to the council's "special Committee to rid Chicago of Everything That is Bad for Us," and wondering if it was "only a matter of time before they propose ordinances against certain cell phone ring-tones, secondhand barbecue smoke and bug zappers."

More than a few Chicagoans say they don't need the City Council looking over their shoulders at lunch time.

"I'm a big boy," Kerry Dunaway said as he ate fried chicken recently. "I can take care of myself."

I just hope they pass that new proposal to hire thousands of new Chicago police officers. You know, so every citizen has one to hold their hand when they cross the street.*

After all, we can't be trusted to look both ways.

* (Not real. But give it time.)

(Two all beef cross-posts, special sauce, lettuce, cheese...)

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