Avast!

Bent with middle age and responsibilities as we are, M and I lacked the spunk required to go to last night's "sneak preview" of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel currently comandeering movie screens across the Republic. No matter; we've plenty of time to see the flick this weekend, and have only the modest request that the movie not suck. Joe Williams of the local daily says not to worry, it's great fun. We do in fact worry, because we seldom agree with Williams' critiques of any movie. He's always been a fairly reliable negative barometer for us. This does not bode well for Pirates 2.

Lisa Schwarzbaum of Entertainment Weekly opens up her review with a half-hearted mea culpa over having harshly reviewed the original, and then goes on to savage the sequel for not being as good as the movie she originally called, uh, bad. Sounds like bitter a priori self-justification at work. Schwarzbaum can't be trusted here.

Fortunately, we have the throughly reliable MaryAnn Johanson of The Flick Filosopher to guide us. Just get through the first 45 minutes, she assures us, and ye shall be rewarded. By my calculations, that leaves an hour and forty-five minutes of enjoyment to be had, and that's good enough for me.

Also of note: A decidedly more historical account of piracy in Caribbean waters - but also a source of rather bloody-minded fun - can be found at this PIrates of the Caribbean website. Continually updated since its inception in 1994, the site provides biographical info on noted pirates, a description of the classes of vessels and weapons they employed, a fine bibliography for further reading, and a history of the old Jolly Roger (that's "pirate flag" to you, ye scabrous dog).

Back to the movie: The original Disney flick, that is. This list of "movie mistakes" (a whopping 340!) caught by viewers willing to replay scenes at slow motion and reverse over and over and over may make you want to do the same. Don't complain that you're too busy, because we know that's not true. Besides, it's the weekend.

(Cross-posted way down in Davy Jones' locker. Arrr.)


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