Characters:
Shakespeare’s Sister, human—played by Melissa McEwan
Maniac #1, cat—played by Matilda
Maniac #2, cat—played by Olivia
SCENE: Shakespeare’s Sister sits at her desk, writing quietly. A cigarette burns in the ashtray, even though she’s supposed to be quitting. Maniac #2 sits on the desk, in the way, as usual.
Shakespeare’s Sister: La dee da. I’m a happy blogger type person.
Maniac #1 leaps up on the desk—or tries to, but, being a flailing, ungraceful sort, slides on some papers and goes careening backwards onto the floor.
Maniac #1: Rrrroowww!
Maniac #2 freaks out and jumps on Shakes’ chest and digs in claws like she’s an ice climber.
Maniac #2: Rrrrroowww!
Maniac #2 climbs up Shakes’ front and down her back in an instant, leaving bloody scratches in her wake.
Shakespeare’s Sister: Fucking hell!
Blood begins to seep through Shakes’ white sweater. She glares at the Maniacs. They look back cutely.
Shakespeare’s Sister: You’re lucky you don’t match, or I’d make you into a hat.
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