I just don’t have a head for the serious stuff today (as you might have noticed), but I feel obligated to report some news, so here’s the latest from Shakes Manor.
Shakes (waking up sleepily, rife with fall allergies): Mmph. Glurg.
Mr. Shakes: How are you feeling, Tschoobs?
Shakes: Yucky. My dominant nostril is all stuffed up.
Mr. Shakes: Bwah ha ha ha! Your doominant noostril? Bwah ha ha ha!
Shakes: What? It’s a real thing! Everyone has a dominant nostril!
Mr. Shakes: I knoo, but noo one talks aboot their doominant noostril! Noo one says “My doominant noostril is all stoofed oop!”
Shakes: Shut up, turd.
Mr. Shakes (hopping on bed and speaking in mocking-Shakes baby voice): Woe is me! My poor wittle doominant noostwil is awl stoofed oop!
Shakes: I hate you.
I’m going to be hearing about this for months.
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