My New Governor is a Doody Head*

(* Please substitute “lowdown, no-good, scum-sucking, ass-licking, shit-for-brains fuckwit” if you are over 18.)

Think Progress reports:

A number right-wing Washington, D.C. politicians have headed back to their states as newly-elected governors. And their behavior, once they leave Beltway fantasyland for the real world, shows just how out of touch today’s conservative ideology is with solving real problems.

[…]

But perhaps the biggest hypocrite of all is Mitch Daniels. As President Bush’s Budget Director, Daniels was a top point man in ramming massive tax cuts for the wealthy through Congress, and gutting spending for critical programs. Now, as governor of Indiana, he is facing the ramifications of his actions in Washington - and proposing exactly what he railed against.

See, you would have thought that any state with two brain cells knocking around among the entirety of its backwater, dumbshit, KKK-lovin’ populace would take a look at its dire financial situation (including a tanking economy, the hemorrhaging of jobs that weren’t even good to begin with, and out-of-control real estate tax increases to try to make up for the first two on the list) and would decide that Bush’s budget director probably wasn’t the best choice to fix our problems. But no. Mitch drove around on a bus and did heartwarming commercials starring Indiana’s endless fields of corn, while our former Democratic governor committed the unforgivable faux pas of dying right before the election. And all of us up in “the Region,” who vote blue for Evan Bayh and Pete Visclosky, are now stuck with the brilliant governing stylings of Mitch Daniels, who is not only a Bush loyalist and impending fiscal nightmare, but also an inveterate opportunist—what some on the other side of the aisle might even call a flip-flopper:

THEN:
“It’s especially risky to talk about let alone a jack up today’s level of taxation.”
- White House Budget Director Mitch Daniels, 2/5/02

NOW:
“Gov. Mitch Daniels called for a one percent income tax increase to help balance Indiana’s budget.”
- Indianapolis Star, 2/20/05

THEN:
“[Mitch Daniels] is truly committed to cutting back the size of government.”
- Cato Institute fellow Stephen Moore on Daniels efforts to gut spending on safety net programs, 1/20/03

NOW:
“Instead of immediately shrinking state government [upon becoming governor, Daniels] expanded it, creating a Department of Child Services.”
- NY Times, 2/20/05

It would be one thing if Daniels had actually had some kind of change of heart, some epiphany that enabled him to embrace solutions that favor progressives…

[b]ut the sincerity of [his] ideological conversion is dubious – [he is] merely up against budgetary reality, and desperate for solutions.

The good news?

The actions of Daniels and his fellow converts, motivated by a need to address reality rather than push ideology, provides proof that the progressive agenda can better address America’s real-world challenges.

If only. Unfortunately, when Daniels’ progressive solutions work, they’ll just vote him back in, touting the brilliance of a Republican governorship. Blech.

(My apologies to the rare and wonderful liberals outside of "the Region." Keep fighting the good fight against the Hoosier mulletitudes.)